<TITLE>34. Par 134-138</TITLE>L-134 And I said, "I'm the one that has done wrong, Lord. Oh, don't take my baby. Take me, Lord. My wife laying yonder in the morgue, and here You're going to take my baby. Please don't do it, Lord. I--I've served You; I--I'm ashamed of myself that I listened to somebody instead of You. I'll never do it again, Lord. I--I want to live for You, I'll do all that You want me to do. Them people's not back-washed. They are not trash." I said, "I'll go. I don't care who's called me holy-roller or whatever. They might do it. I'll serve You if You'll just let my baby live, Lord. Please do," begging like that.

L-135 And I looked down. And just as I looked down to where... Here come a black sheet moving down. I knew that was it. I knew she was going. I looked over at her like that. And her little mouth begin coming open. Her eyes crossed over. And I said, "Sherry, you know daddy, honey?" And she was making a little funny noise. And I laid my hand over on her head.
Then Satan moved to me, and he said, "Will you trust Him now?"
I laid my hand on her; I said, "God, You gave her to me; You're taking her away from me. Blessed be the Name of the Lord." Said, "God, I can't deny You; I can't say that You are unjust. I duly deserve all this punishment. You're still just, and I still love You. I'll still serve You with all my heart. Now, to my baby, Lord. I've begged You; I have tried to get You to keep her. But nevertheless, not my will, let Your will be done."

L-136 Just then I felt my human strength giving away, my body crumbling down to the floor. I held on to the side of the bed. The Angels of God come and got her little soul and packed her to her mother. They took her little body, laid it on the arm of the mother; there I looked there, and oh, my. Took her out to the graveyard, lowered her down. And Brother Smith standing there, the Methodist preacher, preached her funeral, put his arms around me, picked up the clods of dust, sprinkled them upon the casket, said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and earth to earth." My heart went down in there too: my sweetheart, my baby.
Then Billy Paul took sick. He was laying right at the point of death, eighteen months old. Last time he seen his mother, sitting, my old baseball cap on, out in the yard, like that, and her going down in the ambulance, her...?... saying, "My baby. My baby." little fellow sitting in the yard... I know... Excuse me. She... We was going down the street... And Billy was at my mother's house, and he was looking at her. Didn't know...?... his mother...?... to her death; and her trying to wave through the ambulance window at her baby there in the yard, poor little fellow.

L-137 I looked down. They had buried her. It seemed like come whispering down through those trees, seemed like I could hear her voice say:
There's a land beyond the river,
That they call the sweet forever,
We only reach that shore by faith's decree;
One by one we gain the portal,
There to dwell with the immortal,
Someday they will ring those golden bells for you and me.

L-138 Here not long ago I was taking Billy down to the grave to put a flower on it at Easter. The little fellow was packing the flowers. And we come along, got close to mother's grave, just... It was breaking day. I seen the little fellow take off his hat as I did; we set the flower down on mother and baby's grave. We started to kneel down. I put my arm around him; I said, "Sonny, boy, looks like we've been mother and daddy both to you." For years I lived single. I'd pack his little bottles here in my coat to keep them warm, lay them under my pillow at night so my head would keep his milk warm. I said, "I've done all I can to raise you up to be a good boy." I said, "There lays the dust of the earth where mother and sissy come from. But honey boy, beyond this veil, in Jerusalem, there's a empty grave. They who are dead in Christ, someday they'll come forth from that grave." And we... Little fellow snubbing, we knelt, prayed at the grave.


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